Ron Paul Campaign Resorts to Cloning

Satire

It is a well known fact that all Ron Paul supporters are a bunch of fanatical web programmers that spend their entire natural lives creating bots to spam online polls. Ron Paul ever the opportunist has decided that he can use this tactic in his fundraising goals as well.

Bill Crystal reports, “Ron Paul’s campaign has resorted to cloning their 10 nationwide supporters into a team of zombies that counterfeit money and send it to the Ron Paul campaign.” He goes on, “This rationally explains his popularity on Meetup.com, MySpace.com and the Blogosphere… Honestly, who cares about the constitution anymore? How else could the obscure Congressmen Paul beat out McCain in fundraising?”

It was reported that John McCain was irate with Ron Paul’s tactics. He was quoted as saying “This is just unfair, how come I don’t get to use cloning too? I just don’t understand how anyone could have developed this technology without an approval and full support from the Bush Administration”.

The Interactive Constitutional resource, iConstitution.blogspot.com, is about the only group happy with this practice, “Our unique hits are up 10,000% it seems this Ron Paul cloning scam is great for constitutional websites, we would go out of business if it wasn’t for Ron Paul.”

Sources close to the campaign have reported that to save campaign contributions they are going to start employing humanoid robots to stand on street corners with campaign signs, above freeways and pass out Ron Paul literature. The Ron Paul campaign was unavailable to comment.

By Anthony Astolfi